This is the first poem i write and publish… Who i am? I’m not going to answer that question, but i will tell you a story. A tale of numbers and figures and calculations that penetrate the borders of reality and open a doorway into another world. According to prophecies, this world is a lot more predictable than we think. What seems to be impulsive and chaotic to one is nothing more than a simple pattern to another. And all patterns have one thing in common, they are predictable and calculable. The more we understand the more we start to see and doors might open before you that were always closed. I am beginning the story with the formula of Gabriel’s horn, meant to calculate the surface area of a trumpet shape. Besides the fact that it’s very interesting to calculate the surface area of the geometric shape it’s not the actual story behind it. It shares a deep connection with the number Pi and has a lot of magic in it. I once lived in a world far from here and went through things beyond your imagination, and a man wrote about it. That man is gone, for god took him. Note that every time i use the word “god” i actually refer to nature or the laws of nature. However, it corresponds to a small note in genesis and a lost part of the bible. “Enoch walked with god and he was not, for god took him”- Genesis 5:24. When i started this story as Sativa, i was a different man. Now Sativa is not, god took him. O better yet, i gathered enough information from my environment to destroy every aspect of my old personality. Why? To become what this page deserves, a man worthy of guarding and spreading sacred knowledge and make sure the knowledge our ancestors left us will not be lost or kept a secret. At the bottom of this story is a picture, i have the same one hanging on the wall of my house. If your eye for detail is developed enough you can see the entire foundation of reality hidden in that single picture. There are also a few hidden mathematical formula`s inside. I can clearly see the number Pi, Gabriel’s horn and the fibonacci sequence inside. There is nothing new under the sun and all possible outcomes have been calculated before. We each play our role on the chessboard of nature while nature constantly divides to conquer, let’s opposites collide and gives the best of both a chance to survive. Nature decide our fate through a trial by combat. And i have a special place in on that chessboard, i always known. I only seem to emerge during short periods of extreme anger, i need it to become who i am. I’m not proud of it, but it seems to be a necessary evil. I absorb it like a sponge and use it as fuel for physical exercise. It sounds evil i know, but it is the only choice i have left to get the energy i need to withstand the attacks. I can assure you, i only do it with those that attack. It drains the anger out of them they need to fuel their attacks and provides me with the energy i need to fuel my defense. Sounds like a fair exchange doesn’t it? It’s what it means to be mushin. Give what you receive and do not let others drain your energy. My behavior isn’t normal when i`m in this state, it is to coordinated to be normal. I need this level of coordination to perform at my best and i know it. It has everything to do with the title of this chapter; mathemagic. Most people hate maths because of all the complicated numbers and symbols, enough to give someone a serious headache. I am enduring one while i am writing this part and it’s the writing which helps me to heal it. There is so much information inside my mind i just have to get is out to avoid a burn-out. I already learned by pushing some enemies away when i reach the limit i can balance it a little, but there are many points of focus merging inside of me, and that is what this story is all about; the point of focus, the horn of Gabriel. It is prophesied that a star falls from heaven with the key of the abyss. I’ve learned the proper way to interpret these prophecies. Starchildren is what they call us because we spread knowledge like the stars spread light. But there is something else. I never really calculate, i just visualize. My eyes close and patterns flow through the mind showing the outcome of complicated formulas. It can grow to such an extend it gives me the possibility to create a virtual reality and directly write experience from it to my memory as if i was truly there. It can become quite addictive once you get the hang of it. It can even change your personality in a drastic way, which has happened to me as well. It can alle be linked back to quantum mechanics, where an object approaching the point of zero movement can go through a quantum identity crisis and change from one element to another. Even from lead to gold… I could lose myself in this chapter and go on beyond infinity, beyond the calculation towards things you can only dream about. A quantum reality reflecting the one we currently experience. How many of those there are? Beyond any number you can imagine. Existence is greater than we could ever comprehend. If i try i feel like flying through endless solar systems and galaxies without ever reaching the end. It takes a great amount of energy and concentration to open these “stargates” as you could call them. I actually like the name because it links then to the star children who seem to be the only ones capable of opening these doors. This story is one of those gates. If you have read this from the beginning you must have noticed the missing duality. There is no more duality, this is it. As we enter chapter 12 we are in the middle of the quantum tunnel which i created with this tale. A self inspiring script for personal change. An incredible amount of energy has been poured into this project in order to create the desired effect. To push an endless amount of time, energy and information through a single point of focus and strange things are happening in this very center. A doorway opened and i can see straight through the fabric of space time and realise i am surrounded with focal points, each operating at its own dimension. Either alone or in a complicated network of action and interaction, pushing and pulling and generating input and output. We can leave the dreams for what they are now, the foundation of reality. The foundation has been constructed. I am Avitas, no longer the same but the opposite. The opposite is as good as gone, destroyed through a process of several experiences constructed through a strategic plan. Since the spiritual transformation is almost done i expect it to spread like a wave and influence both my body and my environment. Change is already happening. My muscle memory has been formed to use as little energy as possible to create maximum output. I can feel every muscle in my body as if it has been supercharged with electromagnetic particles. Now i also understand why. The constant feeling of getting less energy than you need stimulates your body to use the vacuum field between particles to extract energy and compensate. Once you learn to use the mind over matter, the body stands above matter as well. Once the spirit becomes unbreakable, it slowly spreads through the mind and the body strengthening every structure along the way.